A mark for wisdom
It can be really hard for me to talk with people about the ups and downs I experience in grad school, mostly because I tend towards internalizing academic stuff (except for corny math jokes, as you all know). The few people I do talk with in-depth about some of my experiences are much older and wiser than I am. On Tuesday I emailed one of these people and decided to (for once) rant a bit about some encouraging and happy academic news that happened recently. Here’s the reply I received:
The emotions that you feel are typical of any long-term project. Sometimes you wonder if you're ever going to get to the end of a project. Along the way there are sometimes glimmers of hope.I don’t think I’ve ever thought about the parallels between grad school and raising children. Personally, I get a kick out of the phrase “glimmers of hope,” because I really think that it hits the nail on the head (at least for grad school). The optimistic side of me thinks that working towards long-term goals is a very good thing, and that I should just expect to experience setbacks occasionally so that I don’t get too hung up on them emotionally when they occur. The more cynical side of me thinks that if raising kids is like going through grad school, I should definitely remain single. :)
Take raising kids, for an example of an 18-year long (or longer!) project. For the most part you are correcting their mistakes and wondering if they'll ever grow up. Sometimes they do things that (pleasantly) surprise you, however. When they make it to adulthood you usually are pleased with the outcome.
posted by Katie @ 8:16 AM
3 Comments:
I keep hearing people use parenthood as an analogy for different things - grad school, writing fiction, even growing squash - and it scares me. If someone wants to keep me from trying something they should say the experience is like raising a child. Anyway, my advice for you comes in the wise words of those drunkards and stoners, Oasis, "You've gotta roll with it." Don't let your sense of personal identity get too caught up in grad school (you're so much more than just a student).
PS It's good to see you joining the ranks of faux-community and pseudo-disclosure.
This has nothing to do with the post, but: Yay! You have a blog!
Hmmm... I'm in a Bible study group with a lot of engaged couples and young couples with little kids. I've never thought about grad school when I look at those kids running around - I'm usually too busy laughing at their little antics.
I don't think any child wants his/her parents to think of them as a "project". One would hope that a parent's love for a child surpasses the love one has for research / other grad school endeavors. ^_~
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