Eighteen candles
Last night I was hit with a sudden pang of intense loneliness. I knew where I wanted to go, because I was lonely for a place. A place from my past; a place that I had wanted to be a part of my future.
Where did I want to go?
Here.
Or, in other words, here. You can even see me in that picture if you know where to look. ;)
For those of you who enjoyed this place as much as I did, maybe you'll be able to understand my sentiments. I don't why last night was the night to be bombared by all of the memories associated with that place, but such is the life I live occasionally. I tried to comfort myself by immersing myself in many memories and trying to remember a lot of what I felt and experienced there. Here's a short and fairly impersonal list:
Tastes: Chocolate chip cookies, lender's bagels, orange juice, wheat bread, and wintergreen lifesavers.
Sights: Chandeliers. Bells. Chimes. Red. White. Friends, friends, friends.
Sounds: Voices of individuals, yet blended beautifully so that individuality only added to the overall sound texture. Murmurs of prayers. Piano. Bells. Harp. Organ.
Touch: Being wrapped in a warm choir robe, handshakes with friends and faculty, feeling physically enveloped in a gorgeous sound, shaky arms at the end of an intense and emotional passage of bell music.
It's hard for me to accept that the life I am living at any given point in time will become merely a memory later. But if it's a beautiful memory, it is ultimately a source of comfort and hope. On the other hand, it also means feeling empty and lost occasionally.
posted by Katie @ 2:53 PM
3 Comments:
That reminds me of the Christmas thing we went to when we were in the handbell choir... what was it, Victorian Christmas? In like.. Bellefonte or something. I probably have all my names and places mixed up but.. yeah. Heh. I always get sort of wistful memories of that around Christmas time. That and First Night.
~jen
I sometimes find myself missing the past a lot too (usually also my college years). There's just something comforting about that college bubble. I sometimes miss the many activities I took part in and the friends I shared those with--swimming, bell choir, hanging out with friends and watching midnight cartoons. In many ways, life was a lot simpler then--classes, meetings, friends--all contained in one place.
One of the strangest feelings is to go back to Susquehanna's campus now. There's all this activity and I'm not a part of it. In some ways, it makes me sad to be 'out of the loop', but that's the way it's supposed to be. College is all about getting ready for the rest of your life! (Besides, I have a really cute kitten now--and that makes up for a lot!)
Charlotte
<><
Yup Jen, Victorian Christmas sounds right. There was also that good restaurant nearby...yum...:) And First Night was always a good time. I saw some of the ice sculptures this year but I didn't make it to any of the concerts or other events.
Charlotte, I still think it would've been fun to have met during our college years. If nothing else, our bell groups should have done a joint concert or something. I mean, we lived 20 minutes away for 3 whole years and didn't even realize it! Well, I guess that was one bad thing about the college "bubble." :)
Post a Comment
<< Home