Muscle memory

After rehearsing music at a certain tempo for a long period of time, I develop a strong "muscle memory," whereby I play my best (and almost mindlessly) at the rehearsed tempo. I don't even really notice that muscle memory has kicked in until I try to play the same piece at a different tempo -- and find myself having tremendous difficulty! Suddenly I have to think really really hard about how to make my hands or fingers move, how to lock into the downbeats, and how to subdivide accurately. When this happens in an ensemble setting, here are some of my immediate reactions:

- watch the director (a LOT more than usual).
- listen carefully to the sound being created by the other players (again, more than usual)
- grumble that the tempo isn't what I'm used to (except in rare cases when the tempo is the speed that I've wanted to take the piece all along -- which is usually waaaaay fast for already fast songs *cough* Tempest *cough*)

In other words, I look for guidance, I become more aware of what's going on around me, and I complain. Two of these seem good, and one seems...well, like something that I should work on. :)

I think that I have similar reactions when some of my routines and habits in life are disrupted somehow. And regardless of whether things in my life seem to be going well or unwell, there's nothing like a surprise in the opposite direction to throw me off completely. This suggests that I've developed something akin to muscle memory for my life. Or it suggests that I'm carrying an analogy too far, but I'd never do that. Heehee. ;)

Anyway, muscle memory can be advantageous if you've learned how to play the piece correctly. Similarly, I think that a life muscle memory can be good if you've developed good habits and reactions to events. But if you haven't developed good habits, muscle memory means that you're going through life sort of mindlessly reacting to events in ways that might not be good or "optimal." I sometimes get the sense that God uses jarring experiences to get me to think critically about how I respond to events, and so that I can learn to develop good and healthy habits instead of falling into routines that merely allow me to get by.