When everything's made to be broken...

One week ago today, Dad and I ate lunch together (yum, sushi). When the subject of disappointment came up, he commented: "You know, what disappointment does is allow a person to really understand what it was that he wanted all along. With that understanding, a person has a choice: he can either become bitter because he didn't get what he wanted, or he can recognize what it is he wanted and go after it."

I am trying desperately to hold onto that quote. It reminds me that we have, at some level, a choice between bitterness and hope; a choice between giving up on our dreams and pursuing our dreams; a choice between letting our limits be set by the world and letting our limits be set by God.

For a humorous and musical spin on the "get up/get down" issue, make sure to read this article. Hey, laughter is the best medicine, right?

Nerdiness: all the rage

You know you're a nerd (of the bio type) when...

- You have a discussion about whether "yargh" uses an r-selected or a k-selected life history strategy.

- You giggle with glee when a Simpsons episode pokes fun at the phrase "Ontogeny recapitulates phylogeny."

- You joke that your lab studies the birds and the bees (and it actually does!)

- You fantasize about how different life might be if you were to get a publication in Nature or Science.

- You've had a weird desire to go skiing on a fitness landscape.

Any other ideas? :)

Reflections on reflections

I'm sick of looking at myself in the mirror of the world -- I'm sick of obtaining an image of myself based on the wacky and unreadable signals of those around me in the world.

I find myself wondering...is it bad or good when:
- A smile from a near-stranger makes me feel attractive
- A smile from a stranger makes me feel awkward and uncertain
- Praise from a faculty member makes me feel more confident
- A harsh comment from a faculty member makes me feel ashamed
- A good week gives me inspiration and ambition
- A bad week casts a shadow of fear on situations
- A friend's concern allows me to feel welcome and loved
- A friend's lack of concern prevents me from feeling welcomed and loved

Some of the greatest pain I've experienced stems from when some experience with another person or group of people makes me feel alone or isolated. The pain stems not necessarily from just feeling lonely, but from feeling somehow...disposable. It hurts when the world, or at least our world, reflects an image that conveys to us the notion that our feelings, our views, or even our person is simply disposable.

I know that I'm supposed to obtain my value from one source -- God. And it gives me comfort to know that in His eyes, the value and dignity of all human beings is equal -- none of us are disposable.

No matter what the world says, no matter what your world says, you are not disposable.

It may take throwing out or smashing the mirror to see this, but if that's what's necessary, so be it. Besides, what's 7 years of bad luck in the grand scheme of life?

Seeking advice?...

...just ask a bee.

The Onion articles for this week were super-hilarious, but I chose to post this advice column from 1997. Yeah, I'm sortof biased. :)

It's funny that I'm reading about bees giving advice only an hour before I get lots of advice about bees. Maybe it'll help me keep an open mind during my meeting. If nothing else, it's making me laugh. And I've decided to include part of the article in my presentation. My committee members will appreciate it. :)

Spring: rain, wind, and flowers

Time for more random thoughts.

1. I love my family.

2. After not watching Leno for a few months, I have now managed to catch him two nights in a row. This is...good, I think.

3. April is going to fly by. This both excites and scares me.

4. I have a lot to learn about beekeeping. I've certainly learned a lot already, but I have a long way to go (the mites certainly aren't helping with anything). Luckily, I know of several people who can help me. Time to pester (more than usual, even).

5. Does anyone have any pressing questions about handbell ringing? Or handbell ringers? Don't ask why -- but just let me know if you have any. :)

6. Music rehearsal remains one of the most fun and theraputic activities that I do every week. I should start looking for a music group to join for the summer. Or maybe a few of us can start a handbell quartet...change ringing could be cool too. ;) Man, I miss drumline.

7. A random thought about my random thoughts: most of these are probably very boring to read. Sorry. :)

8. It's almost time for a whirlwind trip. Plans include: visiting a cool university, chatting about my studies, recovering from my week of presentations, attending my bro's jazz concert, catching up with some friends and friends of the family, eating Creamery ice cream at least once, and spending quality time with two crazy dogs and a bossy cat.

9. As I've mentioned before, I love PhD comics. I found this one today, and it made me laugh. Some of my friends may appreciate this one too. :)